Feeling the urge to contact a certain toxic someone from your past (or present)? Do one of these instead:

1. Write a letter. Say what you have to say to him or her but on paper. Get the feelings out. And then throw it away or burn it. If you can’t bear to destroy the letter, put it in a box and put the box away.
2. Play with your kids/niece/nephew, etc.. Those smiles can overcome anything.
3. Talk to someone you trust. Say how you feel. Explain my urge. Get support.
4. Find a creative outlet. Paint, draw, sing, colour, cook, write, play a game, watch a film, go to a museum.
5. Exercise. And if that’s not your thing, take a walk. Even a short 10-15 minute brisk walk can work wonders on your headspace.
6. Self care. Take a bath, go have your favourite meal, treat yourself, read a book, call a friend. Anything that you enjoy. Do it and do it for yourself.
7. Write in (or start) your positive log
8. Find professional support. If it’s too much and the urge is still there, get help.

For anyone else who gets a similar urge to reconnect with someone who mistreated you, feel free to use my list, or if that doesn’t work, find support from someone who will listen to you.

You are NOT alone.